Thursday, November 10, 2011

Life In a Bottle

Life in a Bottle is akin to life w/a sociopath. Here is how I relate that...

Life in a Bottle by Linda Perry.  This song was clearly written from the perspective of a person struggling with an addiction to alcohol. However, I can easily apply it being in a relationship with a sociopath. "Fake what you want. Selective Memory." The sociopath fakes every emotion he/she is having. They selectively remember and forget whichever is most beneficial to them. Leaving you bewildered and wondering if you are imagining things.

"Wrap me up and set me free." This is the montra you should be telling yourself.

"Meet my friend, held tightly in my hand..." Your sociopath will HOLD you very tightly!!! You in turn will begin to hold on just as tightly. Something in your psychie begins to convince you that you need this person for your survival.

 "Forgetting what I meant to say..." The merry-go-round verbal sparring will leave you forgetting everything you meant to say.

"Love but to hate, that's just the way it goes. Inch by inch I sink below." The sociopath will love you and hate you. Most importantly they'll hate you for loving them. They'll see your love as weakness.

"Inch by inch I sink below.." little by little they lock you into their world and you won't even recognize yourself after a while.

"And I love I love I love...all my bad company..." Even though you may discover this person is a sociopath and had no real feeling for you. Your love for him/her will be slow to die. You'll know they are bad for you. But you'll find you can't help yourself but want to be with them.

"Stoned and demented. Walking through walls. When I banged my head I slowly fell"
You will begin to feel stoned and demented for the relationship you find yourself in and for the things you've become and the abuse you've learned to tolerate. You'll feel like you've been banging your head against the wall and slowly falling to the ground. But, he/she doesn't seem to notice or care. You can't seem to figure out how to pick yourself up again.

"Sad but delighted. Swimming in my well.

You will feel desperately sad on one hand and so lucky to have this person in your life on the other hand. That is the crazy making. You want so badly to believe the goodness in this person. You'll continue trying to find ways to behave differently so the relationship will find normalcy. They'll give you just enough of what you want to keep your hope and love alive. You'll soon realizing, or at least feel like you are sinking, drowning and you can't seem to find the life preserver.

"I guess I'm going straight to Hell."  You feel damned if you do, damned if you don't. The relationship leaves you feeling lost. Unable to make a move. Every move you make will have a counter affect by your sociopath and you'll be fighting a losing battle. You will actually feel as if you are in the presence of evil. Literally. But, not be able to explain to yourself why.

"And I love, I love, I love All my bad company"  Just as you feel this person is pure evil, he/she will do something so loving and kind. You'll feel guilty for ever having negative thoughts toward him/her. At the same time you will at your core realize this person is very bad for you and it is only a matter of time before your love for him/her completely destroys you.

"So there's nothing left for me to say....no there's nothing left for me to say."

You'll feel at a loss for what to say to this person, to yourself, to your friends for why you are still in the relationship.

So you can see why I feel a connection to this song even though I've never struggled with addiction to chemicals of substances. Nonetheless being in a relationship with a disordered person is addictive. It has the same addictive properties in the wiring of your brain as a chemical dependency does. Hence the difficulty in breaking free. Enjoy this song!! :D

Linda Perry is a brilliant songwriter.



http://youtu.be/ppcHLyZoWl4


Lyrics are:

Title: Life In A Bottle
Artist: Linda Perry
Album: In Flight (1996)

Life in a bottle
It feels so comforting
Seems like that's my destiny

Fake what you want
Selective memory
Wrap me up, and set me free
Meet my friend
Held tightly in my hand
Forgetting what I meant to say

Love but to hate
That's just the way it goes
Inch by Inch I sink below

And I love, I love, I love
All my bad company
And I know, I know, I know
that's what's meant to be
And I love, I love, I love
All my bad company
So there's nothing let for me to say.
So there's nothing let for me to say.

Stoned and demented
Walking through the walls
When I banged my head I slowly fell
Sad but delighted
Swimming in my well
I guess I'm going straight to Hell
And I love, I love, I love
All my bad company
And I know, I know, I know
That's what's meant to be
And I love, I love, I love
All my bad company
So there's nothing let for me to say
No there's nothing let for me to say

And I love, I love, I love
All my bad company
And I know, I know, I know
That's what's meant to be
And I love, I love, I love
All my bad company

So there's nothing let for me to say
No there's nothing let for me to say

3 comments:

  1. Hi Lisa,

    Yes you nailed it & I came to your blog from dating a sociopath :)
    I am Phoenix Rising on that site :)
    Keep up the good work of sharing etc...as I have found great support on the forums.
    No-one except another survivor really gets it so,we have plenty of company on these blogs which can be a life saver :)
    Be Happy, It's the best revenge & as I've said many times I would not wish a Narc/Soc on y worst enemy because they are our worst enemy!

    PR :)

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    2. Thank you for your comment PR. You are totally rights as well. Only the survivors can understand. Nor would I wish this on anyone, even my enemy, as you said. It's destroys you to your very core, slowly, incrementally and completely. Until you begin to find yourself again. Then the rebuild and learning to live and feel alive again begins. The phrase that echoes in my mind after the experience is that "I am aware." I am now aware that such personalities exist that I'll encounter daily. So, it helps me in choosing more positive people into my life. I am aware. We are aware. Therefore we must share to help others from falling victim to societies predators.

      Be well PR! It was nice to hear from you. Thank you for reading and commmenting. :D

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